It's Been A While..

It's been a while since I've visited these pages.

Though somehow even though I'm No One in truth, I feel like I've established an indentity for myself here. Obviously, hiding in between the lines. Even though I know it's not fame there, but more subtle truth of the underexamined mind.

Anyway.

Have you ever thought to yourself, laying awake in your bed at night...
I wonder if anybody else is thinking the same thoughts that I am right now.
I wonder, truly wonder if their brain itches as much as mine does in the same places.
Ever think for a second if your problem is really a systemic problem that branches off of just being human.
And that everbody else can overcome that problem except for you.
Have you ever really thought about the system, itself. The system of comparison that we use to find the smarter people more deserving of higher jobs and apprehensible behavior.
Have you even once looked at yourself in the mirror and really wondered what the hell is going on behind those eyes?
I know I certainly have.

The only downside is that I never had an answer for myself. Or at least to the untrained eye it seemed like everyone else was feeling completely numb. Just kind of going through life, not really wondering about anything at all. At least not until recently. After more thought, I realize that if everyone's thoughts could flow through my brain for a second it would be more overloaded then a power grid during the summer months.

For a while I didn't beleive that age brought wisdom and responsibility. And yet somehow I'm starting to change my mind about that. More recently I've felt motivated to do things to further my life. Even small things, but enough to show even just myself that I'm not really as fucked up as I think I am.

Though, Purpose is still quite an illusion.