Touch Me, Feel Me

I sympathize with the hero.

Always, mainly because the hero of the story deserves the audience's attention. The hero is always good, honest and ballsy.
The hero is quite interesting, as a figure. Never a flawed character, but always one.

I'm not a hero.

In fact, I'm less or more than a villain. I use less or more rather then better, simply because less or more is less subjective. It's less relative, and more vocational than anything else.

My judgement is quite flawed, and my tattered history can flip flop me both ways.

You're right. The minutes I waste trying to sleep, the hours I spend being harassed by my own subconscious.. the spiders.. Oh the spiders. They're all there, making me less of a hero.

I sympathize, but do not empathize.

Those people all know nothing about me, and yet my villain spirit lives with them daily. A Mercenary, so to speak. Though, my contact is never with my targets. I know them intimately, less of a cat and mouse game.. more of a real life story.

Or a story, of someone who will always be intangible.

I heard one of them speak once. A reconnaissance call ended up becoming quite an experience. My team members gave me odd looks as I went on about favorite bands and New York City. When I finished, and put my phone down.. I did not speak, did not show any emotion what so ever. I just said to them, "Do what you need to do."

I suppose that makes me the villain doesn't it? I'm just doing what I need to do. Answering to no one, not even clients.

It is my firm philosophy that the world operates solely in it's own underground. Being apart of the ever decaying society that is the underground, I've learned to hate it.

But it is the perfect active metaphor for our lives, is it not? Beneath each and every one of our crust of thoughts, lies the molten violent core. Deceiving and wrong. Brutal and beautiful.

Not many people cite the human nature that I love so much as beautiful. But I do. I've fallen in love with our corruptivity, so to speak. That's a word I constructed on my own.

Corruptivity, truly is the potential to be corrupted in measurable form.

It'll be in the dictionaries one day, I can assure you.

When the spiders return, to gnaw at the structured morals of my decaying intelligence. I will fall, inevitably.

And if I have to bring the whole world crashing on top of me, I will happily die the death that Atlas deserved. Suffocating under the corrupted values of our fallen fathers. Sleeping underneath the rubble of society.

You're right, I am a fucking villain. And you could be the next person who feels my intangible touch. If your assailant pays me enough that is.