I am No One.

I'm writing this out of pure insomnia induced insanity.


Ever stop doing something, just for a second and wonder where your headed?
Very seldom, do I actually do this. Most of the time, I'm concerned with simply what is happening today and nothing more.
Maybe it's just my mental deformities that cause me to think in such a way.
Not to say that anybody really has their life paved out for them.
After all, we are all walking in the same race, though somehow I feel like I'm destined to come in last.
I'm completely o.k. with this.

I take the title of No One, because very seldom do I actually feel like someone.
As a whole person, I'm more composed of stories than I am experiences.
Like a ghost, that just happened to be around while these things were taking place.
Lost in limbo forever.

For a while this was just supposed to be unspecific writings not focused on my personal feelings. While still unspecific, focus has changed. And for this I apologize.

Reality is but a spinning cycle of events completely lost in a made up scale.
Ask me the time or date.
I'll bet you 8/10 chance I won't know it.

Why you ask?
Maybe I'm just stupid.
Or Maybe I'm playing a game with myself to escape from the tortures of our man made scale.

How old am I?
Not too old, and never old enough.
But not young either.
I'm just here.

Religion is one of those things thats supposed to put some structure in human life.
Think about it?
If you live completely abstract from society and rules than basically it becomes a life of anarchy you lead.
This makes making judgments a lot harder. You have no set of guidelines imposed on you to make sense from the experience. Your rules and guidelines become those that your environment has imposed onto you in your solitude. Truly could be anything.

With good intention became corrupt intention.
(And so corrupt intention has alerted followers of it's presence, and such has lost them.)

Structure has never been a friend to my life.
And yet I've never even rebelled to it.
It just never came along.
Everything, from this age has gone against those morals and rules that were imposed on me by my friends, family and leaders.
I live a life, not lead, but not leading either.

I'd love to think I've got a goals, but such goals have been fogged.
Them becoming a true possibility has been hurt by my apathy.

So I sit here, in this moment..
4:36AM frozen forever.
I'll awaken when I finally get to sleep.
Or maybe I won't, and I'll stay in dream land forever.
I sure do like it here.

I am No One.
I am the thoughts you choose not to allow to come to consciousness.
I am the hidden shadow behind your beautiful exterior.
I am the unaffected, unavailable and impossible.
I am not banished or welcomed.

4:36AM
I guess I will be asleep forever.

No ma__er people wi__ no_ mi__ m_.
My l_a____e_e o_ w___ g_ u_no_ti_ce_.
I ____ __ ____ __ ____.
_______ __ _______.