What a beautiful sunset.
Right by the sandy coastline.
Small homes line the narrow streets.
The tide is high tonight.
What a beautiful sunset.
Shining over the water.
It's reflection mesmerizes.
The engine revvs high and roars toward water.
It pierces the fence with ease.
And hurtles onto the beach.
Soaring with machine grace into the water.
The engine is quiet now.
The fallen beast's master sits quietly.
Accepting fates hijacked control.
Water has come to steal the air from his lungs.
His eyes peer upwards. Finally.
What a beautiful sunset.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Realistic Position.
Tomorrow, everybody dies.
Yes, not extremely likely. But imagine it.
Imagine that some intelligent life comes to earth. Sees everything wrecked.
And makes inferences and educated guesses (just as we might've done had it been us.)
Now, imagine. You are a becoming an exhibit in a museum.
They are going to put you in a "realistic position" or doing some sort of activity.
Whats your realistic position? What would you be doing or saying or anything?
Think about how much you do said activity. How big a part of your life it is.
Now try and think for a moment, what your life and you would be like without that
item/activity? Post your answers and then I'll post mine.
Yes, not extremely likely. But imagine it.
Imagine that some intelligent life comes to earth. Sees everything wrecked.
And makes inferences and educated guesses (just as we might've done had it been us.)
Now, imagine. You are a becoming an exhibit in a museum.
They are going to put you in a "realistic position" or doing some sort of activity.
Whats your realistic position? What would you be doing or saying or anything?
Think about how much you do said activity. How big a part of your life it is.
Now try and think for a moment, what your life and you would be like without that
item/activity? Post your answers and then I'll post mine.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The difference is submininal.
Catch the irony, if you might. Of the world we live in.
Just take a breath and smell it, so to speak.
Watch things that you find to be normal, and see your own abnormality.
People don't realize themselves sometimes, something I've learned and has been very much reinforced.
They don't realize how smart people really are, or how stupid.
I couldn't tell you how many times my vacant expressions have let people shrug me off as a non-thinking head.
Thats wonderful and all, but sadly they were wrong and played right into my game.
It's better, in my very shallow opinon, to think of most things in life as simply a game.
Not the important stuff mind you, but the mind-tactfulness of everyday life is fun to play around with.
Really test if people seem to notice themselves, try and give them a wake up call.
Think about a subconsious action, and watch it get corrupted by the consious mind.
Test this on other people.
We're all really the same, and if so than this theory stands for everybody.
Now really pick your mind to realize that, if this is true... Is the consious mind where errors occur?
The subconsious mind is an area were exactness seems to always prevail.
The subconsious mind is the driving force in learning and pretty much any day to day action.
So, is it really the consious or unconsious mind that we are trying to teach?
Good question don't you think?
Just take a breath and smell it, so to speak.
Watch things that you find to be normal, and see your own abnormality.
People don't realize themselves sometimes, something I've learned and has been very much reinforced.
They don't realize how smart people really are, or how stupid.
I couldn't tell you how many times my vacant expressions have let people shrug me off as a non-thinking head.
Thats wonderful and all, but sadly they were wrong and played right into my game.
It's better, in my very shallow opinon, to think of most things in life as simply a game.
Not the important stuff mind you, but the mind-tactfulness of everyday life is fun to play around with.
Really test if people seem to notice themselves, try and give them a wake up call.
Think about a subconsious action, and watch it get corrupted by the consious mind.
Test this on other people.
We're all really the same, and if so than this theory stands for everybody.
Now really pick your mind to realize that, if this is true... Is the consious mind where errors occur?
The subconsious mind is an area were exactness seems to always prevail.
The subconsious mind is the driving force in learning and pretty much any day to day action.
So, is it really the consious or unconsious mind that we are trying to teach?
Good question don't you think?
Random Blather.
I sat for a long while with my I bar blinking in front of me.
Picking my brains to try and translate this music into words.
This music has been playing in my head, soothing shallow tones.
Just ones to keep me occupied when I'm doing a humdrum task, or bored.
I've been trying to translate this into words, so I can pass onto you the key to fufillment.
Is really just training your mind to do what it really wants.
I have a tendoncy of typing questionmarks at the end of my statements.
I have a tendoncy of dwelling too much on thought and a lot less on action.
I like to be called "Link" and "Old Soul" because they make me feel a little more like No One.
Picking my brains to try and translate this music into words.
This music has been playing in my head, soothing shallow tones.
Just ones to keep me occupied when I'm doing a humdrum task, or bored.
I've been trying to translate this into words, so I can pass onto you the key to fufillment.
Is really just training your mind to do what it really wants.
I have a tendoncy of typing questionmarks at the end of my statements.
I have a tendoncy of dwelling too much on thought and a lot less on action.
I like to be called "Link" and "Old Soul" because they make me feel a little more like No One.
Monday, October 1, 2007
I think you've got the sickness, I suggest you get it cured.
I think you've got the sickness, I suggest you get it cured.
I suggest you grab that bottle, and pop that pill.
I suggest, I enforce, I watchfully wait for your response.
How would you even know what the sickness is?
I don't see you exhibiting the symptoms yourself.
Or maybe thats just my imagination flashing before me.
I live my live, like the captain of a sinking ship.
I'll do whatever I can to live it to the very end.
I won't abandon, Not for anything.
Don't tell me that you know how my life has been.
Don't say it like everybody else has, telling me what's going on in my head.
You wouldn't know, I don't think you were there. Not at my pivotal moments. Never.
I've done the best to stay afloat in this world of doubt, lies, deceit and destruction.
Not that that means anything to you.
I'm pretty fucking content if you'd like to know.
So scribble that down on your notepad. And sign your name at the bottom.
And give me the exit I'll never take.
Some people need this door, but I don't.
I don't know if I ever will.
But I know I don't need it now.
Thanks for the offer.
Cured.
I suggest you grab that bottle, and pop that pill.
I suggest, I enforce, I watchfully wait for your response.
How would you even know what the sickness is?
I don't see you exhibiting the symptoms yourself.
Or maybe thats just my imagination flashing before me.
I live my live, like the captain of a sinking ship.
I'll do whatever I can to live it to the very end.
I won't abandon, Not for anything.
Don't tell me that you know how my life has been.
Don't say it like everybody else has, telling me what's going on in my head.
You wouldn't know, I don't think you were there. Not at my pivotal moments. Never.
I've done the best to stay afloat in this world of doubt, lies, deceit and destruction.
Not that that means anything to you.
I'm pretty fucking content if you'd like to know.
So scribble that down on your notepad. And sign your name at the bottom.
And give me the exit I'll never take.
Some people need this door, but I don't.
I don't know if I ever will.
But I know I don't need it now.
Thanks for the offer.
Cured.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
God? Where has my inner voice gone?
You know that voice that narrates situations to you inside your head?
It's defiantly your own voice, usually satisfying or verifying your actions.
When you're alone, with people, or neither. (Good luck pulling that one off.) But regardless, it's always there. For some people it's subconscious. For others, it's a little closer to the surface. Usually, you'll hear what you wouldn't want to say, or perhaps just for the novelty of the situation; Randomness.
One day it's there, the other it's gone.
(UNFINISHED DUE TO DISTRACTION.)
It's defiantly your own voice, usually satisfying or verifying your actions.
When you're alone, with people, or neither. (Good luck pulling that one off.) But regardless, it's always there. For some people it's subconscious. For others, it's a little closer to the surface. Usually, you'll hear what you wouldn't want to say, or perhaps just for the novelty of the situation; Randomness.
One day it's there, the other it's gone.
(UNFINISHED DUE TO DISTRACTION.)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Apostrophe.
They say insomnia will drive you crazy.
I believe that without a doubt in my mind.
More and more I find myself staring into the digital numbers 4:59AM.
I'm a slave to my own thoughts, as most insomniacs are.
My heart pounds inside my chest as more ideas enter my brain.
Waves and waves up them. Compelling me to get back out of bed and begin.
Time is of no worth in my room. The light from the new day does not come down. And is not welcome. My new day begins when I am quite ready, as my friends will often tell me.
I've battled with sleep since I was very young. Still I tend to lose, as sleep often escapes me. Leaving me awake and restless. Preying on whatever I can get my hands on.
The thoughts that will stir about at this time, are questionable even by my own standards. I do wonder if this "brain corruption" is really what's going on behind the scenes. And it's just rationalized by the outer shell starting to go off line.
I do wonder. And ponder. And think.
Stressing the already tired brain cells to rationalize the moments that pass.
They come up with nothing but this plausible writing.
"They" say that insomniacs are never really asleep. But never quite awake.
I believe this to be true as well.
There have been times where I've doubted that I was still awake. Even when the obvious signs are there.
I suppose it was the fact that, during the waking hours of the day, most people do not wish they were dreaming. I say most, very importantly, because I do know people who wish they were trapped in a dream.
Exhaustion is funny. All of your systems seem to go invalid. Your eyes zone in and out. Your nose tingles, though there is no further stimulation than before. Your stomach does not understand why or what is going on at all. And your mind accepts all of these now, because it itself is slightly broken down. This is the only time where I can cross the threshold of insanity for a while, and not mind all that much.
If I think back to when I started writing this, only 10 or so minutes before. I named this Apostrophe. If I try and rationalize this thought, nothing comes. However, apparently moments ago, I was able to. Now tell me, is it because my mind has fallen ever so more closer to insanity since that moment? Or is it because it has fallen out of insanity due to exhaustion?
I've been meaning to touch on the meaning of insanity for quite a long time, though I do not feel tonight is the best night to convey it to you. Expect it soon though.
I believe that without a doubt in my mind.
More and more I find myself staring into the digital numbers 4:59AM.
I'm a slave to my own thoughts, as most insomniacs are.
My heart pounds inside my chest as more ideas enter my brain.
Waves and waves up them. Compelling me to get back out of bed and begin.
Time is of no worth in my room. The light from the new day does not come down. And is not welcome. My new day begins when I am quite ready, as my friends will often tell me.
I've battled with sleep since I was very young. Still I tend to lose, as sleep often escapes me. Leaving me awake and restless. Preying on whatever I can get my hands on.
The thoughts that will stir about at this time, are questionable even by my own standards. I do wonder if this "brain corruption" is really what's going on behind the scenes. And it's just rationalized by the outer shell starting to go off line.
I do wonder. And ponder. And think.
Stressing the already tired brain cells to rationalize the moments that pass.
They come up with nothing but this plausible writing.
"They" say that insomniacs are never really asleep. But never quite awake.
I believe this to be true as well.
There have been times where I've doubted that I was still awake. Even when the obvious signs are there.
I suppose it was the fact that, during the waking hours of the day, most people do not wish they were dreaming. I say most, very importantly, because I do know people who wish they were trapped in a dream.
Exhaustion is funny. All of your systems seem to go invalid. Your eyes zone in and out. Your nose tingles, though there is no further stimulation than before. Your stomach does not understand why or what is going on at all. And your mind accepts all of these now, because it itself is slightly broken down. This is the only time where I can cross the threshold of insanity for a while, and not mind all that much.
If I think back to when I started writing this, only 10 or so minutes before. I named this Apostrophe. If I try and rationalize this thought, nothing comes. However, apparently moments ago, I was able to. Now tell me, is it because my mind has fallen ever so more closer to insanity since that moment? Or is it because it has fallen out of insanity due to exhaustion?
I've been meaning to touch on the meaning of insanity for quite a long time, though I do not feel tonight is the best night to convey it to you. Expect it soon though.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Thirsty.
This moment is pure liquid. It runs through my fingers.
It splashes all over my body.
My body that has become one with my vehicle.
I've never felt so disconnected with myself and connected with nothingness.
I've never felt more satisfied and dissatisfied at the very same time.
The triple digits on my speedometer mean nothing at all.
Step into this liquid. Freeze-frame your life at high speed.
Theres no fear. No improbability.
It's just like chess. My moves are strategic. Calculated.
I couldn't tell you the perfection of the movement motion explosion.
But I do not shake. Not anymore. The adrenaline has become one with my blood.
This feeling is inescapable. My heart pumps acid.
My lungs tinge with readiness.
Step into this liquid. Step into this moment.
Step into this life, so close to death. And yet so far away.
Zen achieved.
And yet. I'm still thirsty.
It splashes all over my body.
My body that has become one with my vehicle.
I've never felt so disconnected with myself and connected with nothingness.
I've never felt more satisfied and dissatisfied at the very same time.
The triple digits on my speedometer mean nothing at all.
Step into this liquid. Freeze-frame your life at high speed.
Theres no fear. No improbability.
It's just like chess. My moves are strategic. Calculated.
I couldn't tell you the perfection of the movement motion explosion.
But I do not shake. Not anymore. The adrenaline has become one with my blood.
This feeling is inescapable. My heart pumps acid.
My lungs tinge with readiness.
Step into this liquid. Step into this moment.
Step into this life, so close to death. And yet so far away.
Zen achieved.
And yet. I'm still thirsty.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
"Animal I Have Become"
Ever notice what happens to people over time?
They change.
It's kind of hard to grasp, but for many different reasons their personality morphs.
Just remember that everyone is a product of their environment at this point. This includes family and friends. Thats pretty much the composition of people.
Too many people make the mistake of surrounding themselves with the same type of people. Instead of keeping a broad group with many different people. It'll help round you out a bit. You'll be more understanding, accepting and open. Think about it once in a while, and you'll realize your friends (and foes) have quite the influence on you.
I talked about this with my friends the other day. What would happen to you if you were completely isolated for a long time?
Would you forget how to speak?
Would the same final influences before your solitude continue to loop?
Would your instincts be the basis of your daily life?
Your direct influence would be your environment minus the interaction with other human beings... (Animals are not excluded..)
So still, you'd be influenced by a being(s). Would you inherit the animalistic ways of your environment?
My best guess is yes.
They change.
It's kind of hard to grasp, but for many different reasons their personality morphs.
Just remember that everyone is a product of their environment at this point. This includes family and friends. Thats pretty much the composition of people.
Too many people make the mistake of surrounding themselves with the same type of people. Instead of keeping a broad group with many different people. It'll help round you out a bit. You'll be more understanding, accepting and open. Think about it once in a while, and you'll realize your friends (and foes) have quite the influence on you.
I talked about this with my friends the other day. What would happen to you if you were completely isolated for a long time?
Would you forget how to speak?
Would the same final influences before your solitude continue to loop?
Would your instincts be the basis of your daily life?
Your direct influence would be your environment minus the interaction with other human beings... (Animals are not excluded..)
So still, you'd be influenced by a being(s). Would you inherit the animalistic ways of your environment?
My best guess is yes.
"The Good Left Undone"
"In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding now what I’ve been missing,
But I know…
So I tell myself, I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it can live. I walked away now.
But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel it’s burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
All because of you…
All because of you…
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.
All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out."
Note: This isn't mine, but it's one of my favorite songs. I love the lyrics. They're worth the read. I promise.
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding now what I’ve been missing,
But I know…
So I tell myself, I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it can live. I walked away now.
But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel it’s burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
All because of you…
All because of you…
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.
All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out."
Note: This isn't mine, but it's one of my favorite songs. I love the lyrics. They're worth the read. I promise.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I choose not to remain ignorant to my life.
And I will not allow myself to be corrupted like everyone else seems to be.
Oh wait.
Too late.
I've been corrupted long before they even sensed it.
So why is it that the world keeps turning?
Are these the tried and true methods of life?
I am horrible.
And so are you...
But I am far worse.
Worse is only a word and point of view.
Does that make it any less meaningful?
More than you can realize.
I guess this also answers the question about human definition.
That everything is just a method of defining life. Defining point of view. The only way that things can make sense.
I am far worse.
I am far worse.
And I will not allow myself to be corrupted like everyone else seems to be.
Oh wait.
Too late.
I've been corrupted long before they even sensed it.
So why is it that the world keeps turning?
Are these the tried and true methods of life?
I am horrible.
And so are you...
But I am far worse.
Worse is only a word and point of view.
Does that make it any less meaningful?
More than you can realize.
I guess this also answers the question about human definition.
That everything is just a method of defining life. Defining point of view. The only way that things can make sense.
I am far worse.
I am far worse.
I'm still trying to find...
free·dom
–noun
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: He won his freedom after a retrial.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
Freedom. Something that so many people search for and extraordinarily few actually find. I've been searching my mind for so long for true freedom. So far I've found that a free mind is an impossible one. I asked friends of mine.
"Do you ever think there will be a single moment in your life that you are able to completely quiet your mind? Complete peace?"
Their replies were skeptical, and simply put. "Life is everything...But peace."
A free mind can solve any problem, escape any situation and do anything due to its extreme and rare clarity. You can tell me that your mind is free, but I do not believe you. Your layers of thought betray you, because just this statement is proof your mind is not free.
"Siddhartha Gautama, founder of Buddhism, was born in India 500 years before Christ. He began life as a privileged prince, but in his late 20s gave up his royal existence in the pursuit of enlightenment and spiritual awakening."
I suppose the Buddhists are on the right track. Their religion is all about finding mental clarity and peace with yourself. In an ideal world, they're awesome. Sadly, our world is nothing close to ideal. Also, Siddhartha must've been pretty close if any. He was able to give up royalty and an easier life for this quest. Regardless, I'm no advocate of religion.
Moving on.
"To work with changes now, in life: That is the real way to prepare for death. Life may be full of pain, suffering, and difficulty, but all of these are opportunities handed to us to help us move toward an emotional acceptance of death. It is only when we believe things to be permanent that we shut off the possibility of learning from change."
---Sogyal Rinpoche
Is death the only doorway to peace?
Or is peace the only doorway to death?
Or is peace the only true doorway to happiness?
Peace = Freedom. A simple equation.
When you've got nothing to lose or gain. You're free.
I don't think I'll ever find freedom.
And I don't think I care.
–noun
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: He won his freedom after a retrial.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
Freedom. Something that so many people search for and extraordinarily few actually find. I've been searching my mind for so long for true freedom. So far I've found that a free mind is an impossible one. I asked friends of mine.
"Do you ever think there will be a single moment in your life that you are able to completely quiet your mind? Complete peace?"
Their replies were skeptical, and simply put. "Life is everything...But peace."
A free mind can solve any problem, escape any situation and do anything due to its extreme and rare clarity. You can tell me that your mind is free, but I do not believe you. Your layers of thought betray you, because just this statement is proof your mind is not free.
"Siddhartha Gautama, founder of Buddhism, was born in India 500 years before Christ. He began life as a privileged prince, but in his late 20s gave up his royal existence in the pursuit of enlightenment and spiritual awakening."
I suppose the Buddhists are on the right track. Their religion is all about finding mental clarity and peace with yourself. In an ideal world, they're awesome. Sadly, our world is nothing close to ideal. Also, Siddhartha must've been pretty close if any. He was able to give up royalty and an easier life for this quest. Regardless, I'm no advocate of religion.
Moving on.
"To work with changes now, in life: That is the real way to prepare for death. Life may be full of pain, suffering, and difficulty, but all of these are opportunities handed to us to help us move toward an emotional acceptance of death. It is only when we believe things to be permanent that we shut off the possibility of learning from change."
---Sogyal Rinpoche
Is death the only doorway to peace?
Or is peace the only doorway to death?
Or is peace the only true doorway to happiness?
Peace = Freedom. A simple equation.
When you've got nothing to lose or gain. You're free.
I don't think I'll ever find freedom.
And I don't think I care.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Fantasy (Reply)
Well, to begin. I enjoyed reading everyone's responses. Each thought out and well written.
To start, Heres the definition of Fantasy according to the dictionary.
1. imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.
2. the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.
3. a mental image, esp. when unreal or fantastic; vision: a nightmare fantasy.
4. Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
5. a hallucination.
6. a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion: dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.
7. caprice; whim.
8. an ingenious or fanciful thought, design, or invention.
9. Also, fantasia. Literature. an imaginative or fanciful work, esp. one dealing with supernatural or unnatural events or characters: The stories of Poe are fantasies of horror.
–verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
11. to form mental images; imagine; fantasize.
12. Rare. to write or play fantasias.
Pretty interesting huh? This definition tells us that fantasy is as well entwined with daydreams as it is invention. Also suggests that a daydream is in fact a psychological need. Strikingly weird, it also says that an ingenious idea can be a fantasy.
Now think of this question. "What's your fantasy?"
Is it a singular experience that you secretly long for?
Perhaps, your fantasy is to defy a physics constant?
Or maybe attain the heart of someone?
Fantasies in themselves, are both a weakness and a strength. Fantasies allow, like anonymous said a goal to strive towards. Even if, (Which not always) it is unattainable. They are what allow inventors, writers and dreamers to create what they do. The mind needs some element of fantasy for personally, my mind is not quenched so easily by what is available. It is always seeking nourishment from normal sources. That fantasy is a world in which we create to entertain and test ideas we would never dare venture towards in reality.
You say this is weakness, I disagree. Weakness is those who remain in a fantasy never to return to their true life. Fantasies are dangerous though, most times untamed. There have been many people not able to wake from their fantasies. Some stuck permanently within them.
Think about what you consider to be a fantasy.
Think about the people you know, and what their fantasy might be.
It has been said that to see someone's fantasy is to see into the true inner workings of their mind. Because, most minds strive towards their fantasy. So their actions have the undertone of this.
No one can truly be in touch with reality if they don't leave it from to time.
It helps to find the distinguishable line. A learned person has been to both sides of the war. Not only one. Journeying too far on either side, and you will be lost without chance.
Keep your mind open. And take the journey.
To start, Heres the definition of Fantasy according to the dictionary.
1. imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.
2. the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.
3. a mental image, esp. when unreal or fantastic; vision: a nightmare fantasy.
4. Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
5. a hallucination.
6. a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion: dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.
7. caprice; whim.
8. an ingenious or fanciful thought, design, or invention.
9. Also, fantasia. Literature. an imaginative or fanciful work, esp. one dealing with supernatural or unnatural events or characters: The stories of Poe are fantasies of horror.
–verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
11. to form mental images; imagine; fantasize.
12. Rare. to write or play fantasias.
Pretty interesting huh? This definition tells us that fantasy is as well entwined with daydreams as it is invention. Also suggests that a daydream is in fact a psychological need. Strikingly weird, it also says that an ingenious idea can be a fantasy.
Now think of this question. "What's your fantasy?"
Is it a singular experience that you secretly long for?
Perhaps, your fantasy is to defy a physics constant?
Or maybe attain the heart of someone?
Fantasies in themselves, are both a weakness and a strength. Fantasies allow, like anonymous said a goal to strive towards. Even if, (Which not always) it is unattainable. They are what allow inventors, writers and dreamers to create what they do. The mind needs some element of fantasy for personally, my mind is not quenched so easily by what is available. It is always seeking nourishment from normal sources. That fantasy is a world in which we create to entertain and test ideas we would never dare venture towards in reality.
You say this is weakness, I disagree. Weakness is those who remain in a fantasy never to return to their true life. Fantasies are dangerous though, most times untamed. There have been many people not able to wake from their fantasies. Some stuck permanently within them.
Think about what you consider to be a fantasy.
Think about the people you know, and what their fantasy might be.
It has been said that to see someone's fantasy is to see into the true inner workings of their mind. Because, most minds strive towards their fantasy. So their actions have the undertone of this.
No one can truly be in touch with reality if they don't leave it from to time.
It helps to find the distinguishable line. A learned person has been to both sides of the war. Not only one. Journeying too far on either side, and you will be lost without chance.
Keep your mind open. And take the journey.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Fantasy.
Well...
I want you guys to anonymously post what you define the word fantasy as.
I've got a couple thoughts on this so make sure it's good.
I'll post my reply when I get 5 or more.
I want you guys to anonymously post what you define the word fantasy as.
I've got a couple thoughts on this so make sure it's good.
I'll post my reply when I get 5 or more.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Mirror Mirror On The Wall...
Mirror mirror on the wall...
Can I ask you a question?
Am I really here?
Or is this reflection just an empty shell of where I used to be...
I guess you can't answer that can you.
It's true..
Sometimes I just look at myself in the mirror to make sure that I'm still myself.
Today I looked, and saw no one familiar.
Not that I've changed, but more to the effect that I never knew myself to begin with.
I looked into my friend's faces today.. Kind of letting them imprint my mind.
I felt sad. Sad because as life is inevitable tragedy. And I'm so tired of hearing tragedy. I guess I wished that life wasn't the way it is.. for any of them. And that happiness would always be there.
Can I ask you a question?
Am I really here?
Or is this reflection just an empty shell of where I used to be...
I guess you can't answer that can you.
It's true..
Sometimes I just look at myself in the mirror to make sure that I'm still myself.
Today I looked, and saw no one familiar.
Not that I've changed, but more to the effect that I never knew myself to begin with.
I looked into my friend's faces today.. Kind of letting them imprint my mind.
I felt sad. Sad because as life is inevitable tragedy. And I'm so tired of hearing tragedy. I guess I wished that life wasn't the way it is.. for any of them. And that happiness would always be there.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
I am No One.
I'm writing this out of pure insomnia induced insanity.
Ever stop doing something, just for a second and wonder where your headed?
Very seldom, do I actually do this. Most of the time, I'm concerned with simply what is happening today and nothing more.
Maybe it's just my mental deformities that cause me to think in such a way.
Not to say that anybody really has their life paved out for them.
After all, we are all walking in the same race, though somehow I feel like I'm destined to come in last.
I'm completely o.k. with this.
I take the title of No One, because very seldom do I actually feel like someone.
As a whole person, I'm more composed of stories than I am experiences.
Like a ghost, that just happened to be around while these things were taking place.
Lost in limbo forever.
For a while this was just supposed to be unspecific writings not focused on my personal feelings. While still unspecific, focus has changed. And for this I apologize.
Reality is but a spinning cycle of events completely lost in a made up scale.
Ask me the time or date.
I'll bet you 8/10 chance I won't know it.
Why you ask?
Maybe I'm just stupid.
Or Maybe I'm playing a game with myself to escape from the tortures of our man made scale.
How old am I?
Not too old, and never old enough.
But not young either.
I'm just here.
Religion is one of those things thats supposed to put some structure in human life.
Think about it?
If you live completely abstract from society and rules than basically it becomes a life of anarchy you lead.
This makes making judgments a lot harder. You have no set of guidelines imposed on you to make sense from the experience. Your rules and guidelines become those that your environment has imposed onto you in your solitude. Truly could be anything.
With good intention became corrupt intention.
(And so corrupt intention has alerted followers of it's presence, and such has lost them.)
Structure has never been a friend to my life.
And yet I've never even rebelled to it.
It just never came along.
Everything, from this age has gone against those morals and rules that were imposed on me by my friends, family and leaders.
I live a life, not lead, but not leading either.
I'd love to think I've got a goals, but such goals have been fogged.
Them becoming a true possibility has been hurt by my apathy.
So I sit here, in this moment..
4:36AM frozen forever.
I'll awaken when I finally get to sleep.
Or maybe I won't, and I'll stay in dream land forever.
I sure do like it here.
I am No One.
I am the thoughts you choose not to allow to come to consciousness.
I am the hidden shadow behind your beautiful exterior.
I am the unaffected, unavailable and impossible.
I am not banished or welcomed.
4:36AM
I guess I will be asleep forever.
No ma__er people wi__ no_ mi__ m_.
My l_a____e_e o_ w___ g_ u_no_ti_ce_.
I ____ __ ____ __ ____.
_______ __ _______.
Ever stop doing something, just for a second and wonder where your headed?
Very seldom, do I actually do this. Most of the time, I'm concerned with simply what is happening today and nothing more.
Maybe it's just my mental deformities that cause me to think in such a way.
Not to say that anybody really has their life paved out for them.
After all, we are all walking in the same race, though somehow I feel like I'm destined to come in last.
I'm completely o.k. with this.
I take the title of No One, because very seldom do I actually feel like someone.
As a whole person, I'm more composed of stories than I am experiences.
Like a ghost, that just happened to be around while these things were taking place.
Lost in limbo forever.
For a while this was just supposed to be unspecific writings not focused on my personal feelings. While still unspecific, focus has changed. And for this I apologize.
Reality is but a spinning cycle of events completely lost in a made up scale.
Ask me the time or date.
I'll bet you 8/10 chance I won't know it.
Why you ask?
Maybe I'm just stupid.
Or Maybe I'm playing a game with myself to escape from the tortures of our man made scale.
How old am I?
Not too old, and never old enough.
But not young either.
I'm just here.
Religion is one of those things thats supposed to put some structure in human life.
Think about it?
If you live completely abstract from society and rules than basically it becomes a life of anarchy you lead.
This makes making judgments a lot harder. You have no set of guidelines imposed on you to make sense from the experience. Your rules and guidelines become those that your environment has imposed onto you in your solitude. Truly could be anything.
With good intention became corrupt intention.
(And so corrupt intention has alerted followers of it's presence, and such has lost them.)
Structure has never been a friend to my life.
And yet I've never even rebelled to it.
It just never came along.
Everything, from this age has gone against those morals and rules that were imposed on me by my friends, family and leaders.
I live a life, not lead, but not leading either.
I'd love to think I've got a goals, but such goals have been fogged.
Them becoming a true possibility has been hurt by my apathy.
So I sit here, in this moment..
4:36AM frozen forever.
I'll awaken when I finally get to sleep.
Or maybe I won't, and I'll stay in dream land forever.
I sure do like it here.
I am No One.
I am the thoughts you choose not to allow to come to consciousness.
I am the hidden shadow behind your beautiful exterior.
I am the unaffected, unavailable and impossible.
I am not banished or welcomed.
4:36AM
I guess I will be asleep forever.
No ma__er people wi__ no_ mi__ m_.
My l_a____e_e o_ w___ g_ u_no_ti_ce_.
I ____ __ ____ __ ____.
_______ __ _______.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I'm not sure what changed that night, but the allure behind his actions wasn't as glimmering. Suddenly, I realized that he just like all of us. Corrupted. Stealing. Behind that seemingly good soul, there lies one much darker then all of ours. It's funny how one simple action can change your entire outlook on someone. And suddenly, you start to link them together. And they fall from their state of goodness onto the hard concrete of reality.
Stolen you say? Why not in the least. It's only stealing if your prey is aware of your actions.
Your immoralities beseech you to think differently than I do. But you are what you are a bandit. And that you shall remain.
Well, I'm glad you've come to this conclusion so quickly my dear friend. At last my thoughts are no longer incomprehensible.
But I've been you all along, so who truly is at fault here. Your thoughts are simply mine at different level. Two halves of one whole nothing.
Your contradiction has never felt more satisfying.
Stolen you say? Why not in the least. It's only stealing if your prey is aware of your actions.
Your immoralities beseech you to think differently than I do. But you are what you are a bandit. And that you shall remain.
Well, I'm glad you've come to this conclusion so quickly my dear friend. At last my thoughts are no longer incomprehensible.
But I've been you all along, so who truly is at fault here. Your thoughts are simply mine at different level. Two halves of one whole nothing.
Your contradiction has never felt more satisfying.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Cognitive Dissonance
If ever life were so easy, to be described as "clear" I think I might end mine on that day.
Life is nothing of the sort, nothing a tag along like myself could ever truly comprehend.
You say it's easy, I disagree.
I can't help but shake the fact that every thought I have is cognitive dissonance hard at work.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
Sometimes I truly wish I was without a name or face.
I find myself watching people from the outside too often, when in fact I'm on the inside of the situation. People amaze me. General action and reaction, speech and behavior. I suppose thats why I handled everything with my parents so well. And with everything that happened. Thinking back, that never really happened to me. I was just watching a story unfold.
Most of the time, I can look at the sky on a beautiful night or even a rainstorm perhaps. And cleanse myself of my life as a whole. Just kind of live in the moment.
It's a beautifully freeing feeling. I hope you'll try it one day.
I had an odd moment today actually. For just a couple seconds, I forgot my entire past. Everything I had known was gone, for just a split second. But there was not happiness, but I was truly afraid. I didn't have a signature, I didn't have anything to guide my action. More or less, I was a blank slate.
My life has been one string of dissonance after another. One string of things that I did but didn't beleive in or things I beleived in but didn't act upon.
So I have to ask, where do these come from?
The thoughts that contridict my clarity?
I suppose this is what you call a conscience. Truly a manifestation of dissonance between our constantly conflicting thoughts. If this is true, then wouldn't that in theory be regarded as multiple personalities? These exist in all human beings. So that begs the question. Why? Is it an advanced controlled-response to previous experiences in life? Take the example of conditioning an animal. The animal takes it's previous experiences into account weighted to make it's decision on it's next action. So the human mind must do this on an advanced level. And because of the advanced brain structure we posses, creates dissonance manifested into two possibilities. However, the weight of the past experiences is determined by the amount of desire for either outcome. And not just two possibilities. But many. This is where advanced thinking comes in.
And this is where I will leave you for tonight.
Life is nothing of the sort, nothing a tag along like myself could ever truly comprehend.
You say it's easy, I disagree.
I can't help but shake the fact that every thought I have is cognitive dissonance hard at work.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
My thoughts do not reflect my behavior.
Sometimes I truly wish I was without a name or face.
I find myself watching people from the outside too often, when in fact I'm on the inside of the situation. People amaze me. General action and reaction, speech and behavior. I suppose thats why I handled everything with my parents so well. And with everything that happened. Thinking back, that never really happened to me. I was just watching a story unfold.
Most of the time, I can look at the sky on a beautiful night or even a rainstorm perhaps. And cleanse myself of my life as a whole. Just kind of live in the moment.
It's a beautifully freeing feeling. I hope you'll try it one day.
I had an odd moment today actually. For just a couple seconds, I forgot my entire past. Everything I had known was gone, for just a split second. But there was not happiness, but I was truly afraid. I didn't have a signature, I didn't have anything to guide my action. More or less, I was a blank slate.
My life has been one string of dissonance after another. One string of things that I did but didn't beleive in or things I beleived in but didn't act upon.
So I have to ask, where do these come from?
The thoughts that contridict my clarity?
I suppose this is what you call a conscience. Truly a manifestation of dissonance between our constantly conflicting thoughts. If this is true, then wouldn't that in theory be regarded as multiple personalities? These exist in all human beings. So that begs the question. Why? Is it an advanced controlled-response to previous experiences in life? Take the example of conditioning an animal. The animal takes it's previous experiences into account weighted to make it's decision on it's next action. So the human mind must do this on an advanced level. And because of the advanced brain structure we posses, creates dissonance manifested into two possibilities. However, the weight of the past experiences is determined by the amount of desire for either outcome. And not just two possibilities. But many. This is where advanced thinking comes in.
And this is where I will leave you for tonight.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Zero Resistance
Control will never hurt me again
The consequences are too strong
Muisc is my freedom
From parameter and expectation
It releases me from my body
and changes my reason
A true thoughtful high
Experience will help you understand
I wish I could teach you
Oh how you would enjoy it
An impossibility
Zero resistance
The consequences are too strong
Muisc is my freedom
From parameter and expectation
It releases me from my body
and changes my reason
A true thoughtful high
Experience will help you understand
I wish I could teach you
Oh how you would enjoy it
An impossibility
Zero resistance
I live in a world
Not quite reality
Not quite a dream
A perfect mixture of the two
That keeps me sane
I don't need your chemical
Though I don't blame you for your jealousy
I've never really touched the floor
I don't know what my body feels like anymore
I hear it's nice though
You and I are more alike than you think
Though you use the back door
Look for me next time you dream.
Not quite reality
Not quite a dream
A perfect mixture of the two
That keeps me sane
I don't need your chemical
Though I don't blame you for your jealousy
I've never really touched the floor
I don't know what my body feels like anymore
I hear it's nice though
You and I are more alike than you think
Though you use the back door
Look for me next time you dream.
Feel the breath move past my lips
Outward the warmth of my body flows
Oh what a deadly caress
This sensual destruction has never made sense
and yet I can't look away
I have never felt so alive
And yet I'm already dead
Lick your lips and taste my impossibility
Blow me away
This moment of silence
Is really not silence at all
Destroy me again
Your beauty is indescribable
this tantric impossibility
I can't touch the floor
My body is yours
My mind is yours
I have nothing left
And this death has never tasted so amazing
As it all drips away
Kill me again
Take away what no one ever has before
And never will again
Outward the warmth of my body flows
Oh what a deadly caress
This sensual destruction has never made sense
and yet I can't look away
I have never felt so alive
And yet I'm already dead
Lick your lips and taste my impossibility
Blow me away
This moment of silence
Is really not silence at all
Destroy me again
Your beauty is indescribable
this tantric impossibility
I can't touch the floor
My body is yours
My mind is yours
I have nothing left
And this death has never tasted so amazing
As it all drips away
Kill me again
Take away what no one ever has before
And never will again
Let your mind drift into the realm of mine,
Where the line between dreams and what is true fades.
I cannot call this my realm,
Since your mind has dwelled here with me
For as long as I can remember.
I float in thoughtless limbo,
And yet my thoughts are clear
They do not belong to this body,
But you do.
Let your mind fall numb,
To those thoughts of uncertainty
I am what I am not
But you are what you are.
Pins and needles signal my return to truth
And I am what I am once again,
But you are what you are,
Impossibility never seemed so entertaining.
Where the line between dreams and what is true fades.
I cannot call this my realm,
Since your mind has dwelled here with me
For as long as I can remember.
I float in thoughtless limbo,
And yet my thoughts are clear
They do not belong to this body,
But you do.
Let your mind fall numb,
To those thoughts of uncertainty
I am what I am not
But you are what you are.
Pins and needles signal my return to truth
And I am what I am once again,
But you are what you are,
Impossibility never seemed so entertaining.
(untitled)
Acceptance is a brutal uncertain measure
A risk we take
Compromising our beliefs and skeptical thoughts
We are more alike then you think
and I am nothing like what I am
Listen
And beleive
Accept me for what I am, gnihton
gnihtyreve is nothing but backwards.
A risk we take
Compromising our beliefs and skeptical thoughts
We are more alike then you think
and I am nothing like what I am
Listen
And beleive
Accept me for what I am, gnihton
gnihtyreve is nothing but backwards.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Blades.
Eight days of the week
I'm dead on my feet.
I can't beleive my eyes,
The world is turning on me again
But than again what can I expect
I've built up my expectation
Haven't been felled by tempation
I will never be free,
I will never be free,
Let me go
Like a zombie I return
Reborn underneath crimson skies
I awaken to my ability to fly
Seconds hang with me in the air
And everything is silent
The wind passes across my skin
Everything and nothing matters
Maybe this is life
Maybe this is death
What do I know anyway?
Let my reanimated body fly again
Let my soul pour out of my skin
No obstacles will stop me
My body will not limit me anymore
Let me soar in blissful antigravity
Sharp as they might be
My tools keep me sane
They numb the pain
My body is impossible
My mind is corrupt
But I am free
(TBC)
I'm dead on my feet.
I can't beleive my eyes,
The world is turning on me again
But than again what can I expect
I've built up my expectation
Haven't been felled by tempation
I will never be free,
I will never be free,
Let me go
Like a zombie I return
Reborn underneath crimson skies
I awaken to my ability to fly
Seconds hang with me in the air
And everything is silent
The wind passes across my skin
Everything and nothing matters
Maybe this is life
Maybe this is death
What do I know anyway?
Let my reanimated body fly again
Let my soul pour out of my skin
No obstacles will stop me
My body will not limit me anymore
Let me soar in blissful antigravity
Sharp as they might be
My tools keep me sane
They numb the pain
My body is impossible
My mind is corrupt
But I am free
(TBC)
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Untitled
I've actually been looking for this picture for a while...
It reminds me of how I've always felt during a party or some kind of gathering with different mind-altering things around.
Not really a total part of the situation I just kind of sit and let everyone pass by me. Almost feels like seconds, when it is really hours. At the same time I enjoy that feeling, knowing that most of the people around me will not retain memory about me, minus the fact that I was present. Almost like a ghost. To be quite honest, I don't know why I enjoy that feeling. But it's almost a feeling of freedom. After all, what am I supposed to do. It's mind altering, in its own way. Watching the modification of others. I suppose it's that, that I enjoy watching.
It reminds me of how I've always felt during a party or some kind of gathering with different mind-altering things around.
Not really a total part of the situation I just kind of sit and let everyone pass by me. Almost feels like seconds, when it is really hours. At the same time I enjoy that feeling, knowing that most of the people around me will not retain memory about me, minus the fact that I was present. Almost like a ghost. To be quite honest, I don't know why I enjoy that feeling. But it's almost a feeling of freedom. After all, what am I supposed to do. It's mind altering, in its own way. Watching the modification of others. I suppose it's that, that I enjoy watching.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Primal.
Oh, Primal my love. Why do you prey upon my thoughts?
You are the cause for this madness, and yet I cannot get away.
I am trapped in the homeostatic nature of my brain.
Primal, don't ever leave.
I was programmed to be corrupted. And left with my own destructive government.
Primal, Ilove HATE you.
You are the cause for this madness, and yet I cannot get away.
I am trapped in the homeostatic nature of my brain.
Primal, don't ever leave.
I was programmed to be corrupted. And left with my own destructive government.
Primal, I
L etter
The definition lies poignant on my thoughts.
Appealing in a nature thats more than just arousal.
The fierce remembrance of that one vulnerability.
One-weak-link, so to speak.
The structure starts to decay, and slowly fall away.
Reasons, consequences no longer apply.
Diluded by this madness, your thoughts are frayed.
You're exactly what you were at first, mere animal.
Appealing in a nature thats more than just arousal.
The fierce remembrance of that one vulnerability.
One-weak-link, so to speak.
The structure starts to decay, and slowly fall away.
Reasons, consequences no longer apply.
Diluded by this madness, your thoughts are frayed.
You're exactly what you were at first, mere animal.
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